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Can I Forgive?
And Samuel said to Saul, “The Lord sent me to anoint you king over his people Israel; now therefore listen to the words of the Lord. Thus says the Lord of hosts, ‘I have noted what Amalek did to Israel in opposing them on the way when they came up out of Egypt. Now go and strike Amalek and devote to destruction all that they have. Do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, child and infant, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.’”
Matthew 19:18 ESV /
Jesus said, “You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not bear false witness.
I quote the above passages as examples only. I could debate both sides of this endlessly picking verses for and against forgiveness. Please don’t write to me quoting your personal view of the correct interpretation of the Bible. I am writing this to ask a question that troubles many Christians today, should I forgive?
A man wrongs you, you forgive him, Jesus tells us that we must forgive and continue to forgive the man. As a Christian I try to do this in my day to day life.
Matthew 18:21-22 ESV /
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.
But what of mass murder, what about a terrorist group that kills without remorse to promote fear or to advance their version of an ideology?
A question. First a little background.
Hitler
At the end of the second world War The Nazi party had killed between 15 to 20 million people. This figure does not include combatants. (Holocaust Memorial Museum )
Stalin
In February 1989, two years before the fall of the Soviet Union, a research paper by Georgian historian Roy Aleksandrovich Medvedev published in the weekly tabloid Argumenti i Fakti estimated that the death toll directly attributable to Stalin’s rule amounted to some 20 million lives (on top of the estimated 20 million Soviet troops and civilians who perished in the Second World War), for a total tally of 40 million.
Isis
To date, more than 170,000 people (mostly Christians and Shiites) have been killed in Iraq by ISIS. This does not include the thousands killed worldwide.
The year, 1945, the place Nuremberg, Germany.
On trial for their lives are the remaining hierarchy of the Nazi party, Hitler has committed suicide and many others have fled the country.
It is not my intention here to recount or analyse these trials. These people were responsible either directly or indirectly for the deaths of millions. On the whole they showed no remorse using as a defence they were only obeying orders. As we are aware most were executed for their part in the atrocities committed by their regime.
Now, we take exactly the same scenario but the defendants all swear to have had an epiphany and Jesus has appeared to them, they have repented their sins whole heartedly. We now have standing in court men and women who by their own admission were totally evil. However they now claim to have given their lives to Jesus and have been forgiven their sins and are asking for baptism in his name. Should the judges at Nuremberg have accepted this statement and allowed them to leave as free men? In other words should they have been forgiven?
This week a young German girl who ran away from her parents in a pre-determined plan to join ISIS. She freely admits to having killed people and been a leading member of the women’s police battalion who meted out “summary justice” to people failing to comply with Sharia law, she married an ISIS fighter, changed her faith and became ‘the face’ on many posters advocating violence. She was involved in fighting and killing to the very last before she was captured. At no time did she either attempt to escape or surrender.
Now she cries on television begging to be allowed to come home, saying it was all a mistake.
ISIS have killed innocent men women and children all around the world. Men, women and children slaughtered in the name of a twisted ideology, she was part of this. Being a young girl does not absolve her of this responsibility.
Had she in fact been a young man, she would have been executed on the spot as many have been, only the fact that she is white and female has so far saved her from justice.
Recently on Facebook I expressed the opinion that she should pay the ultimate price for her crimes. This opinion was challenged by a Christian friend, saying that the Lord teaches us to forgive. Everyone deserves a second chance. She hasn’t even repented those sins, even if she does is repentance reason enough to negate punishment? In other words, should the German senior staff had they repented and been baptised should they have been released back into society and forgiven?
As a Christian, I can forgive an individual that transgressors against me, but I find it almost impossible to forgive an organised group of people who over years have slaughtered and maimed men, women and children publicly to increase their dominance and impose their twisted beliefs. Terror and atrocities were her way, nameless women slaughtered and tortured in her presence and by her.
As I said at the beginning of this piece, I am as are many other Christians struggling with this question. Can I forgive or should she be punished for the evil she has committed?
Our Story, Part 2 continued from last month
(Kris) I went from being financially well off with a well-paid job to living on a small pension, I had used my savings to live and eventually got myself into debt which I was struggling to repay.
The mortgage I had taken out on my home was well within my means whilst I was well paid but became harder and harder to keep paying when I was relying on my small medical pension from the NHS. I got into so much debt that my house became repossessed and I became homeless.
I had struggled mentally and financially to keep up the repayments and I felt ashamed and even more depressed at this time.
I had not known Chris long when I lost my home; he was a huge support even going with me to the housing to get emergency accommodation.
A friend from university let me stay with her for a few days until I got emergency housing. God was at work, he gave me accommodation in the same village Chris was now living in and it was 5 mins from his house.
I then got a bungalow in a village nearby.
From the sale of my home there was a little money left over after all my debts had been paid from the mortgage to pay off my other debts, God was truly with me even in difficult circumstances.
Chris never judged me; he was a great support and encouragement. Many friends suggested I move in with Chris when I became homeless, for me it was important not to, I knew if Chris and I were ever to be together I needed him and everyone else to know it was for the right reasons not because I was desperate. I moved into my own bungalow to be independent.
Christine, my wife has been a Christian for many years, this is a look at our lives before during and after the search for our place in God’s plan and where our faith has led us, where God has sent us to testify to His greatness and to do His work among the poor of India
We are now on a better road thanks to God and His love for all His children.
In this account, we hope to show you the reader that there has to come to a point where even the most sceptical will have to admit that coincidence doesn’t work as an explanation.
For us it was forever from the first meeting. How do you explain to anyone that in an instant you knew what had been itching at the back of your head was confirmed just by that first touch? For both of us it was instant, no doubts, we both knew we would never be with anyone else again. Any barriers were just blown away, within seconds of meeting our lips touched, not by our choice, we just did it, we both just knew. Kris’s family and close friends still can’t believe she did not slap my face when we kissed.
For me Kris this would have been my automatic reaction to anyone invading my personal space, my barriers were more than 40 feet deep and just as high, but God just let them all crumble and the thought did not even cross my mind. I just knew Chris was different and was equally surprised that I responded to his kiss.
Our love grew like a fire, unquenchable, but she like me had no church so we prayed together that we would find one. We tried several ranging from a large Pentecostal to small village chapel then Kris suggested Emmanuel Durham, her old church.
She had been thinking about it but wanted to let me come to the choice after seeing others. So off we went one Sunday. We were a little late and the service had already begun as we entered the music team broke into ‘’Oh Happy Day’’. From that moment we had found our church.
My faith and my unshakable belief in God had come in an instant some 7 years earlier in the USA when He literally saved both my life and my soul. Here in this church, it was to find purpose and fulfilment.
In the Bible it says of Paul (sometimes called Saul) when he was saved, (Acts 9:18 NIV) ‘Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul's eyes, and he could see again. He got up and was baptised.’ Here it speaks of the physical blindness caused by his experience on the road to Damascus but it also speaks of him finding his faith and no longer being blind to God’s work. That’s how it was for me, one moment blind the next I could see. My past was, through baptism and my complete faith in the power of Christ to cleanse you of your sins to become dead to me, but in dying it would give me a story to write and that would in time raise thousands of pounds for an Indian Hostel.
Sometime later we decided to live together, but for us that was not possible without marriage, those who knew me of old will find this hard to believe but God has a way of making you see the truth about yourself.
We journeyed to the oldest Christian Church in the UK, there Kris and I made our oath of marriage before God and witnesses in St Mary’s Church at Lindisfarne.
We married that day and from then on we knew we were man and wife in the eyes of God forever. Lindisfarne is known locally as Holy Island, it is the site of the very first Christian Settlement in the UK.
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| St Mary's Church, Lindisfarne (Holy Island) |
We both prayed for the Lord to guide us if He accepted we were sincere to give us joy or if we were wrong, or in sin then we prayed for a sense of guilt.
We felt complete joy, a rightness about our union, not just happy but a feeling that this was all part of Gods plan for us. Two parts had been made whole. One new tool had been forged from two separate pieces. Some in our church expressed the view that we just wanted to sleep together if that is all there was to it then why did we kneel before God and swear to be together always? We simply said “We are married in the eyes of God and that is what matters to us” One of our elders couldn’t see it but at least one understood and counselled us, listened to what we had done and accepted our marriage. I always found Andrew to be a deeply committed Christian, who lived the word not just reads it. He has been an inspiration to us. To see pure faith and the willingness to follow the Lords word no matter where it took him and his family was to me a revelation. As a ‘new’ Christian I was surprised at some of the reaction to our marriage. People I saw as Christian couldn’t accept that we had taken an oath before God, in a Holy place, before witnesses as not being sufficient to say we were in fact married.
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| It was here in St Mary's Church that we made our vows to each other in the eyes of God |
We both believe that God married us that day and that it was His will that we were together. Many times since He has spoken with us, guided our path and been our constant support.
From that day we lived together.
It wasn’t all Roses, far from it at times, my past interfered because I found it so hard to trust and Kris was new to a relationship of any kind. Things she had done alone for years she now had someone do for her, to help her, care for her. As a fiercely independent woman, this was hard for Kris to accept. So often in her life ‘help’ had been something she had resisted, especially as when we met she was disabled and fighting to remain independent.
We had many good days but sometimes we didn’t, those days were horrible for both of us.
I would over react to something Kris said or did, she couldn’t understand fully my deep seated mistrust of women. But gradually we helped each other to trust and leave the past behind. Please don’t think this was easy, even now nearly eight years later the dark of my past can intrude into our lives. Neither of us would change our pasts, it’s what God used to make ‘us’ effective as His tool.
I had by this time with Kris’s encouragement begun writing my life story. Nobody but us knows the pain and nightmares I suffered during that year it took to write. Some nights I would wake screaming covered in sweat. Poor Kris, there were many times a bad night became for both of us a bad day. Remembering is an awful lot different to having to write about it. To do that you have to relive every buried memory, things never told before now in print. The first draft was according to our Senior Pastor ‘Too graphic’ sorry but that’s how it was, that was the truth of my life, however I still had to cut large sections out and rewrite others. It seems wrong but it was that or no support from the church when it came to selling it.
I have one vivid memory that still today is as fresh in my memory as if it happened last week. It had to come out of the book, but I will explain it here.
My mother was an extremely violent person, mostly I was the target but on this particular day it was my father who she aimed her hatred at.
They were again shouting at each other, I was in the kitchen (keeping out of the way as when my mother got like this I was usually the outlet for her violence) then my mother screamed and I heard a thump, fearing what may have happened I opened the door to see my mother lying back on the stairs where my Father had pushed her away from him, she reached beneath her skirt and holding up a bloody hand screamed ‘Look what he’s done to me’. I ran from the house in terror, no idea of where I was going, I just ran. My Father God bless him caught me and talked very calmly to me. That’s how I found out about periods and the monthly cycle. This was only one occasion of many that led me not to trust women, but for me it was a pivotal moment in my life. To do such a thing to a child even now horrifies me.
My first wife was repeatedly unfaithful while I was in the RAF serving in Northern Ireland; our senior Pastor who had read the first proof, the beatings, being locked naked in the kitchen larder for hours, put in hospital at least twice. The subsequent failed relationships because of my violent past once asked Kris why I didn’t trust women, what a question!
Kris bore this boiling hatred of my past as I wrote it; she so often was the innocent victim of the results of a night of being eight or nine again.
She always held me and loved me no matter how hard it got for either of us. I loved in a way I never knew I could, I began to trust for the first time in my life. It was a delicate trust, hanging by the thread of complete honesty between us.
We read the Bible together, talking and debating points of view, it was for both of us a time of discovery.
One afternoon while Kris was out a man came to fit a new aerial for us, the old one having blown away. He was in and out for a while and must have noted the Bibles on the book shelf because when he had finished and we were having a coffee before he left he asked if he could tell me a story. This is his testimony to an event he experienced.
A keen Sea fisherman from his small boat he used to take his son (about 12yrs old I think) with him if it wasn’t a school day. Usually in the evenings; on this particular day he and his son were some miles off the shore fishing a favourite spot, a deep hole known to hold large fish. Unnoticed by them the horizon faded out in a thick fog. When he realised what was happening he decided to head in. For a few moments all went well, then the engine quit. Nothing he did would restart it. No phone, no oars, no radio. He had a compass but it was of no use without a means to propel the boat. Don’t be judgemental…..he had made a grave mistake as we all do at times in our lives.
For hours they drifted, it was getting rough as the swell increased tossing them about like a cork, evening was turning to night and the weather was deteriorating. For the first time in many years he knelt and prayed out loud for God to help, he prayed that God save his son even if He couldn’t save him. He had always believed in a God but like most people in an abstract way, not as his Lord or Jesus as his saviour. He openly admitted he was afraid; the swell was by now quite dangerous to an unpowered small boat. The danger of swamping becoming quite real.
In his own words ‘A tunnel in the fog opened and through it we could see land’ He tried once more to start the engine, it started at the first try and joyfully but amazed he headed through the now closing tunnel to safety.
As he looked behind he saw solid fog again closing the tunnel.
From that day he believed God’s power is real and that He had acted to intervene to save his son. This is how he put it to me, not to save him but his son.
Having shared an amazing testimony with me he went onto his next job. We have never heard of him again but we both wonder what God had in store for him and his son. Another tool in God’s eternal toolbox? We wonder how many seeds of faith he planted during his telling of that story over the years following.
He struck me as a typical ‘straight’ northerner, to the point and honest. At times as he spoke as if reliving the moment, I completely believe him and what he said happened that day. He found it hard to say at times, embarrassing even, but he came across to me as completely sincere.
Over the years we have been given many such testimonies, from people of all walks of life, all now forever changed by their experience.
Of my own experience that changed me I can only say that God changed the law of physics, what could not happen did, and crucially, in front of witnesses who could not explain what they had seen. One, a good friend would never talk about it although at the time his comment was ‘how the #uck did you do that!!!’. He could never explain what he saw, so he closed his mind to it. (For the full account of my journey to Christ Jesus read ‘A Long and Winding Road’ C R Hyde ISBN 978-178035-315-9)
Years later when he passed I prayed as I still do for his soul to be at peace, and to know the Lord.
To be continued.
Comments by Kris
This month has been hectic as usual, it’s lovely to see all the greenery in the countryside around where we live now that we are in the middle of the monsoon. The wildlife remains abundant and fascinating to watch, I feel so thankful to live in such a nice area. We have had a lot of local bees in our shrubs and flowers this year, its lovely to see; unfortunately, they are very small and difficult to get a clear photo of them. We plan to plant more flowers and flowering shrubs.
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| Our orange fruit tree replanted in the side border |
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| Another variety of orange fruit tree planted in its new position |
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| Mango tree replanted so it gets more sun and better soil |
We have moved our lemon, orange and mango trees into the better soil so hopefully, they will do well. We have also moved some of the roses so we will get lots of colour in the side border of the lawn. It’s starting to take shape and it feels more like home.
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| Mint in the centre, with more herbs to come yippee |
My herb garden is taking shape we now have the pots in position, we have mint established and planted Rosemary and Sage seeds, unfortunately, the Rosemary has done nothing but the Sage is showing life so may be transplanted soon. The lawn is looking lovely and green with the monsoon rain. We really can’t waste water on the lawn in summer when we know our neighbour's wells are running dry or have done so as ours did in our previous home. Yes, the lawn looks dead at that time of year but fortunately, the type of grass sown is meant to withstand drought and recovers well in monsoon.
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| View of our front garden from front door |
I did my second teaching session on Humanities without Chris, as it is a subject I really like and I studied it at college and university. For two years now I have worked alongside Chris teaching various subjects and Art & Design to the first years. The college has now asked me to take on more responsibility as a lecturer as they are extremely happy with the way my teaching skills and the results I am getting is an asset to the college.
I took the 2nd year students on a field trip to the Bhatiya Lok Kala Museum in the city as part of their Humanities studies. None of the students had visited before so it was new for us all. The museum is famous for having rare collections of Folk Art and the collection varies from typical rural dresses, ornaments, puppets, masks, dolls, folk musical instruments, folk deities and paintings. It also has its own puppet theatre where they hold puppet shows and you can see the puppets being made on site. It was really fascinating and well worth another visit.
Images below of Rajasthan Folk Art
Images below of Rajasthan Folk Art
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| Showing traditional puppets performing traditional dance and music |
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| Masks from around India |
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| Regional dress |
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| The puppet master kindly showed us how it's done. He was so skilled and gave a marvellous performance |
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| More traditional dancers and costumes |
Unfortunately, due to our main electrical breaker burning out Chris could not come he had to stay and wait for the electrician, more on that later. We saw a puppet show during our visit and the puppeteer kindly allowed us to look behind the scenes and he even demonstrated some of the puppets for us to see where he stood/sat during the performance. It certainly was entertaining and he is a very skilled puppeteer it’s the best puppet show I’ve ever been to. And guess what it cost Rs40 for entrance and Rs20 for a camera phone, which is less than 90p. They did not charge me tourist rates which was nice as they recognised I was teaching students. We went just as it opened and we were the only people there so could be as leisurely as we wished. I think it’s a great place for tourists and locals to visit and would recommend it to anyone and its easily accessible by 2 wheeler, car, rickshaw or taxi and if you live in the city it's not too far to walk to.
As I said Chris had to stay home for the electrician, as our main breaker burnt out overnight and whilst we do have an inverter we needed power as quickly as possible. The electrician said that this was happening a lot with the monsoon, water getting into the electrics in some areas and very dangerous to repair as they are working live as unable to isolate and shut off prior to repair.
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| Our main circuit breaker went kaput and burnt out |
The electricity company do shut down power when there are larger power problems and at present, we are without mains power two or three times daily and sometimes for long periods, sometimes there are notices in the paper of shutdowns but not often. I do not envy the electricians working in the rain in very difficult conditions, but one thing for sure they are not short of work at this time of the year.
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| Moti sheltering from rain and having supper |
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| Bleu' got a compaion |
Moti (aka tripod, hoppity) has decided that he likes it here in the rain, he occasionally comes into the house when he chooses, but mainly sleeps under the jeep when it’s dry and on blankets on the porch when it’s raining.
If he has decided to go out into the street during a dry period and then it rains, Bleu’ comes to tell me to let him in. On the whole, they get on very well, Moti can’t be bothered to play much he’s frail now and his arthritis is bothering him. They both get dog biscuits and eat out of each other’s bowls but if there’s meat or a treat they get snarly at each other so have to be separated, it’s the street dog genes in both of them coming out.
The chickens are well and as mischievous as ever, they like to pinch treats out of my hand or bowl then run off to munch. They really like cucumber and tomatoes whereas Bleu’ and Moti don’t. We’re considering improving the chickens living quarters when the monsoon is over.
I’m happily drinking my own ginger beer that I made, which reminds me need to stock up on ginger root to make some more, its yummy mixed with sprite.
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| Typical roads in monsoon this year |
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| yes this is a road |
The monsoon can make shopping more difficult with the potholes and mud to contend with. I went to the local vegetable mundi (market) and although it hadn’t rained for a few hours the place was flooded, some stall holders had closed due to the conditions. However a few of us brave souls plodded on and got our vegetables despite the conditions, and yes I did fall down a pothole that I didn’t know was there and got wet up to my knee in yukky muddy water. I was happy though as I got my fresh mushrooms, capsicum and lettuce. It wasn’t so risky at the other end of the market where I got the rest of my veg. We’re looking forward to planting up our kitchen garden at the end of monsoon and among the things we'll plant will be leeks as you can’t get them here, most of our Indian friends have never heard of leeks let alone tasted them. I still have some in the freezer so we're ok for now.
Just caught a mouse in our humane mousetrap, used cucumber as bait as they seem to love it and ignore cheese when I have used that. Strange that they love cucumber but then I do so can’t blame the little critters. Just drove to a waste area on the colony to let it go and was watched by two families from the colony who approved and explained to their children what I was doing, it was sweet the kids waved it bye bye ahhhh.
In Hinduism the mouse is one of the earthly forms Lord Ganesha takes and is always associated with him. So I think they were pleased to see me release it unharmed. Lord Ganesha is one of the highest Gods in Hinduism.
The last week has been very worrying, Chris had an allergic reaction on his legs to the fleas and insects that come during monsoon and local treatment did not work so we went to hospital for treatment. Chris was prescribed a month’s tablets and skin ointment. As usual I checked out medications side effects prior to giving it to Chris, nothing out of the ordinary so we proceeded. Chris, however, suffered from severe vomiting when he ate, diarrhoea, abdominal pain, bloatedness, and drowsiness, dizziness making him very unsteady on his feet, visual disturbance, severe joint pains, some days he could hardly walk and several more symptoms which we did not know the cause. After 7 days treatment Chris was not improving so I found a medical site for professionals and did further research. It showed that all of Chris’s illness and symptoms were due to rare side effects of the medication and needed medical intervention. Obviously, I stopped the medication and told the doctor why he said he was not aware of these side effects on this medication but after discussion, he agreed with me and has now prescribed new medication to deal with these side effects. One day on new treatment and Chris is starting to feel a little better; in future, I will use this medical site for checking out medication. In the UK you get patient information leaflets with medication but this is not available in India. I praise God that I found the site when I did as we were considering going to another hospital for a second opinion, Chris has not been this ill since he had malaria.
Well thats all from us this month, take care and God Bless
Chris and Kris in Udaipur
Chris and Kris in Udaipur
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