Hi all,
I had wanted to include this in our last blog but I couldn't find the words until Sunday in church where Kris ans I gave our testimonies.
It has been difficult to write, not because of what happened but because to convey to you the reader the joy and love I feel is beyond my capabilities as a writer. I am still in awe of what happened, Kris and I still hold each other and pray in gratitude for His love, it is very emotional sometimes for us both. Anyway this is my testimony, written as best I can.
I lay dying. Because of delays and misdiagnoses I had arrived
at the main hospital in Udaipur GBH American Hospital in a very poor state.
I had contracted two of the most dangerous strains of malaria
you can get, this had been misdiagnosed as food poisoning by another doctor so
for two days I just got worse until Kris my wife all but dragged me to the hospital
with a friend Eric who came straight away in his car to help us. To be honest
at that point I really didn’t care anymore.
We got to casualty and things became more blurred for me, my
major organs were in the process of shutting down, I had complete renal
failure, my Liver was failing and my blood pressure was falling fast, I couldn’t
breathe properly. I was supposed to go to intensive care but the doctors didn’t
think they had time so right there in A&E they all got to work on me.
If you have read our blog you will know the details of my
time in hospital and the problems I came through to still be here.
That’s the practical side of this story, but for me there is
so much more.
I had said my goodbyes to Kris and told her there was a
letter for her on my laptop. I had said my last prayer to God looking back over
my life at all my sins and all the evil I had done, I asked him to forgive me
and that I was sorry for all my doubts and misgivings about him. Because yes my
faith was solid but I still have thoughts that put doubts into my head, I read
widely both for and in opposition to my faith, I believe we must never shy away
from doubts but should prove them to be without foundation by research and
prayer.
As I lay there I knew the end was near, a face came to me,
not like a photograph more like an image seen in a poorly lit room, long dark
hair, beard and the one thing that even now I marvel at, he had a large ‘Arab’
nose, I recognised Him on a level I can’t explain I KNOW it was Jesus, as I
looked at Him he held me close in arms I couldn’t see, the feeling of love and care for me was beyond
my ability to describe, it flooded me, poured into me, words would have been inadequate
and unnecessary. I have likened it to
being a small child lost in a mall, afraid and alone, and then their father
sweeps them up and holds them close loving them, there were no words just the knowledge
that He loves me, and I truly mattered to him, at that moment I gave my soul
into his care.
From an outside view Kris says she has nursed people who have
in the last moments seemed to go into a state of peace, she saw me do this and
at that moment she knew she was losing me.
Jesus decided differently.
From that moment on I started to recover, after eight days I
was allowed home, I am still very weak and have no stamina but every morning I
say thank you to God for this extra time he has given me. I don’t know if its
days, weeks or years but I praise him and thank him every day for his love.
I now know His love in a way I never have before, I am a changed
person, and things that used to stress me doesn’t matter anymore. When asked
how we were going to pay the hospital bill both Kris and I simply say God will
provide, in the meantime Mr Barclay has it to deal with!
I have tried to tell this as accurately as I can, I have not embellished
or overstated any of it, it is simply the truth.
Praise God
Chris
