Hello there folks
time for
another update on what’s happening in our lives.
Today is a
very special day for all three of us because it marks the halfway point of
Christine’s exile to the UK. It’s been exactly 6 months and it has been the
hardest six months either of us have ever experienced.
It sounds so
simple when you say it quickly will be apart for a year. But that’s 365 days
and every day we miss each other very much.
There have
been some really funny wonderful times with just myself and Geeta here but
there have been some hard times as well. It was bad for her when both the dogs
she loved died within weeks of each other and then Christine had to stay in the
UK meantime her best friend left the area so suddenly everything she loved had
disappeared except for me. I don’t know who it was but somebody put it into her
head that I was going to go to the UK as well and she would be left not been
able to go to school or live here she would have to go back to the village
where there is no school. It took a while and a lot of long talks to get her to
accept that I would never just leave that I would always be here for her.
There have
been several occasions like that. When I had my heart attack last year somebody
told her that she must expect me to die soon because when you have a heart
attack you don’t live very long afterwards. What sort of worry is this to put
into a little girls head? I truly wonder why people do this sort of thing. I am
73 and yes the body
knows it but in my mind I’m still 30, my problem with that is sometimes I do
things as the 30-year-old and then spend two days paying for it with an aching
back to remind me that I’m not a young man anymore. Still as we have taught
Geeta never give in always try no matter how hard it may seem, do your best.
Geeta is
reading every day from the children’s Bible which tells all the Bible stories
in a way that is easier for children to understand this is not only helping
reading and spelling but it is also giving her some understanding of why
Christine and I live by the teachings of Jesus and how that affects our daily
lives.
She asked me
once ‘what is that list on the wall?’ I explained to her that it was a list of
Gods commandments things he said we should and should not do. He gave them to
the world to live by and Christine and I try to live by these commandments and
by the teachings of Jesus. She prays with us on a Sunday and Geeta and I pray
regularly for Christine to be safe and well and to come home soon.
We are not
trying to turn Geeta into a Christian that will be her choice as she gets older
but we are exposing her to Hinduism the country’s main religion which is which
is after all the oldest religion in the world, she attends Hindu temple of
special occasions and we encourage her to understand her countries main faith we
have a friend who is a Muslim she
frequently questions him about his faith we have friends from just about every
religion in India and she questions each and every one of them about what they
believe and why.
She has a
tremendous amount of curiosity which we encourage in all subjects. We never say
things like don’t bother with now ask me later if she has a question we try
very hard to answer it in a way she can understand consequently she has gained
a lot of general knowledge and on some subjects very specific knowledge. One of
her teachers remarked that she was one of the few children at school that you
could have an adult conversation with and she understood the words she was
using and used them in the correct context.
Her biggest
difficulty is writing, she is naturally right-handed and has had to learn to do
everything with her left hand, the problem she has is when she has to write
quickly as spelling goes out of the window. A lot of her test questions she has
given the correct answer but has misspelt a word so gets no mark for it. We
have taught her a propelling pencil (they all have to write with a pencil at
this stage) that has definitely improved her control when she is writing. We
encourage you to read everything she sees he is in English or Hindi she studies
Hindi writing as well as English and speaks three languages Hindi English and
her local tribal language. India is a country of so many many different
languages that you can travel 100 miles and not to be understood by the local
people. This is a fantastic country and I love it very much as does Christine
but there are times it is difficult to comprehend how this society works. We
have tried very hard to be tolerant but to stay firm in our beliefs and our
standards. Geeta has been brought up never to lie or steal. If you have two
coats then give one to somebody who doesn’t have a coat is one of our strongest
principles to help others is to honour God.
She loves
painting and drawing there are dozens of her paintings we never throw them
away. Her schoolwork is improving as she is recovering from being so down I
have to try very hard not to let her see me being depressed.
I admit when
I am here alone the house can seem very empty without Christine here and
emotionally I do find that difficult sometimes. There are times when I have to
force myself to actually do something and not just sit thinking about what was
or what is now. I think I have already mentioned this, I have now moved into
Christine studio which is the downstairs bedroom and put a bed in there. I
still can’t handle sleeping in our bedroom alone. The nights here has become
very cold and are going to get colder and we can’t afford to put radiators on
in the bedrooms so we leave the curtains to the stairs and Geeta’s bedroom door
open and my bedroom door (studio downstairs) open so that some of the heat from
the wood burner which I bless as the best idea we ever had moved in here some
of that he’s gets into the bedrooms. We have also bought two cheap electric
blankets which we turn on about an hour before bedtime and turn off when we get
into bed which by then is lovely and warm and we just snuggle down under the
covers and it doesn’t matter that the bedroom itself is cold….Until you get up
in the morning! Then we both end up standing in front of the fire warming up.
I still find
it difficult to accept that this has happened to us… Why? We did everything we
were supposed to do when we were supposed to do it and yet Christine’s visa was
refused, her appeal was refused because we kept getting told she had
overstayed. How is it possible that she overstayed and I didn’t? It still baffles
me and I have to admit within myself there is resentment and some anger but
I’ve learned to forgive and follow the Lord’s plan whatever that might be.
Keeping my
faith was difficult in the beginning I ranted and shouted at God why why why
have you done this to us? Gradually I came to accept the situation we were in
and I came to accept why ever God did this we may never know where all our
married life together we have followed faithfully the road he laid before us
and still do.
Money has
been one of our greatest worries. When we had to return to the UK three years early we had not saved the
necessary money to renew our visa’s all for air flights as we normally would
have at the end of five years consequently the credit card got hammered in fact
it’s maxed out so we have no financial lifeboat anymore. On top of this we are
now having to pay two rents, two electricity bills, two food bills and only
other incidental costs like clothes for Geeta all on my pension. People look at
foreigners as being wealthy, I can promise you we are certainly not wealthy by
the end of each month we are lucky if we haven’t run out of money to buy even
the most basic essentials. As things stand we have absolutely no chance of
paying off the credit card so every month a chunk of our money gets taken by
the bank as interest and there is nothing we can do about it. It is very
difficult sometimes. At least we have a roof over her heads and food in our
bellies which is more than some others have so far that we are grateful.
Christmas
this year is going to be difficult, Geeta will still get a present as will her
cousins who always visit on Christmas Day. I have explained to her that Santa
is short of cash this year so it will only be a small presents.
Luckily we
have plenty of veg in the freezer and even a turkey!
We have even
made a Christmas cake, traditional English spice cake recipe. I only have one
other promise to fulfil that is we will make a trifle.
We celebrate
Christmas dinner on Boxing Day privately but Christmas Day is open house.
Christine is
struggling just as hard as I am in fact more so she has had to find a small
flat to live in, at least it means she can get away from having to live in what
is laughingly called emergency accommodation, in the UK it’s that or live on
the street.
So much has changed in the UK over the last 11 or 12 years. Where has my country gone I don’t recognise it now so much hate so much crime and so much corruption. It’s a sad comments to have to make but a true one I feel Christine is safer here in India going about as a mature woman alone than she is in England which is very sad because I remember when it wasn’t dangerous to walk in the city at night alone. It’s not everywhere but if you’re unfortunate enough to live in some other big cities friends have told me you almost live in fear of going out alone. I don’t understand is how ordinary decent people have allowed this to happen or for that matter continue to allow it. The UK press doesn’t really seem to be keen to report the level of crime which is ruining peoples lives. However the international press shows no such restraint when reporting on England and is becoming known as a dangerous expensive overtaxed and under policed state.
Our pensioners freeze in winter after a lifetime’s work the pension is disgusting and so far below the national average wage it’s a sad joke.
Our service men are struggling just to survive the suicide rates among
ex-services is horrendous. Why don’t we seem to care? Free speech no longer
exists as it used to now you can be arrested for having an opinion that doesn’t
agree with the government. You could be arrested for making a political social comment
that may offend some of the individual. It seems it doesn’t pay to rock the
boat in England anymore.
It has taken
me a long time to recover my health, it’s ironic but if I hadn’t had a heart
attack I would never have realized why I was so tired with no stamina. Since
the heart operation and the vitamin C supplement which I now have to take daily
I am definitely getting fitter it’s taking a while but I’m getting there. Sometimes
I still have to admit that different jobs are at the moment beyond my ability
like carrying piles of logs for the fire or something similar where Geeta helps
me but compared to what I was two years ago I am quite literally a different
person. No more wheelchair! As Geeta once said ‘grandpa is back’.
I’m sorry if
this blog has drifted about a little but I’m writing as I think of different
things and not in any particular order. I apologize to readers who like a more
structured account!
Geeta has just lost Mr Bunny. He died over night we don't know why but he had gone by morning. We have buried him in the garden under some flower brushes. Hasn't this little girl had enough grief this year she really loved that bunny. It really breaks me up she has lost both of the dogs she loved her best friend moved away Christine is stuck in the UK Mr bunny has now gone as well.
I hope this
blog has given a little more insight into how we doing here I will leave it up
to Christine to add her account to this before I publish.
It’s going to be a heck of a
party in about six months time!
Comments
from Kris
Well
since I last wrote I was living in emergency accommodation, I was fortunate to
be placed in a nice bed and breakfast (didn’t get breakfast). The lady running
it was really nice and a Christian. I had use of a microwave and airfryer in
the dining room to prepare my food. I was definitely one of the lucky residents
as I had an en suite. I had a kettle and television in my room, and my bedding
changed weekly. But it was difficult I felt very isolated although I could come
and go as I pleased. Once I figured out the buses, every twenty minutes into
town but only one bus an hour to return due to road closures buses were being
redirected. I did manage to get to church a couple of times but too far to walk
so had to use what little money I had on taxis as no buses run on Sundays in
Stafford. It is much to far for me to walk so I only go out when I have to
After
applying for numerous private rentals and applying for housing with the only
agency. I was allocated a flat via the councils connection for homeless
people with Sanctuary Housing Association. You cannot apply to them directly
you have to be referred so I was very lucky. Obviously my health problems also played a part.
At
last I viewed that flat an upstairs one bedroom in a quiet but nice area.
Problem
was I now had a flat but nothing and I mean absolutely nothing other than a
quilt and pillow and a few cans of food to move into. I contacted the churches
furniture scheme and explained my situation.
They
were superb, I now have a bed, crockery and cutlery, a slow cooker unfortunately they didn’t have a kettle, a
dining table and two chairs, a desk and office chair and bookcase, couple of
rugs. Unfortunately they could not get the sofa or armchair through the narrow
door but they brought me two small chairs that are reasonably comfortable. Some bedding and curtains which don’t fit
perfectly but they at least keep some heat in and give me privacy. The heating
is old style storage heaters which I cant afford to run so I got myself a small
halogen heater. It was extremely cold so I was very grateful for the extra
bedding to keep me warm. I bought an off-cut carpet for the living room as the
cold has made my joint pains significantly worse and I was sitting with a
blanket over me to keep warm. Sometimes I am in so much pain that i cant even tidy up or cook.
This
is not a complaint as I feel so blessed by the churches provision.
A
friend bought me a kettle and loaned me a tabletop cooker for which I am
extremely grateful.
Money
is really difficult having to pay bills for living here and also for Chris back
in India so we are both living on a shoestring and going without a lot of
stuff. Its hard for Chris when Geeta needs new school cloths and he cant afford them but somehow we find the money.
The
job offer I got was withdrawn on medical grounds so I now have to continue the
job search in order for us to survive and pay the bills. So any prayers in that
provision would be gratefully received.
It
has been extremely stressful and difficult being separated from Chris and Geeta
who miss me as much as I miss them. Geeta is taking it particularly hard but
she has Chris to support her.
We
have now passed the six month mark for me to reapply for my visa, and I can’t
wait to return to India.
Christmas
is going to be particularly hard for us all but Chris is putting the tree up
with Geeta this weekend to try and keep things normal and we do have video
chats daily,
Each
morning at 1.45am GMT I ring Geeta to speak to her before school. Sometimes I
stay up till I have spoken to her especially when my pain is severe, then I
snuggle under my two quilts to go to sleep.
I
am going to go to church on the 22nd for their Carol Service I have
my ticket for the 4pm session, I don’t like being out late as it’s a walk from
the bus stop, that is one day that I will be fully dosed up with pain killers.
I
remain focused mainly on getting through this difficult time and positive
about the future.
There
are so many people worse off than me but its lonely here and I don’t feel I
belong so hoping if I get a job at least it will help financially and get me out meeting people.
Hope
you all have a wonderful Christmas and very best wishes for a Happy New Year.
God
Bless
Kris
Hello there folks
time for
another update on what’s happening in our lives.
Today is a
very special day for all three of us because it marks the halfway point of
Christine’s exile to the UK. It’s been exactly 6 months and it has been the
hardest six months either of us have ever experienced.
It sounds so
simple when you say it quickly will be apart for a year. But that’s 365 days
and every day we miss each other very much.
There have
been some really funny wonderful times with just myself and Geeta here but
there have been some hard times as well. It was bad for her when both the dogs
she loved died within weeks of each other and then Christine had to stay in the
UK meantime her best friend left the area so suddenly everything she loved had
disappeared except for me. I don’t know who it was but somebody put it into her
head that I was going to go to the UK as well and she would be left not been
able to go to school or live here she would have to go back to the village
where there is no school. It took a while and a lot of long talks to get her to
accept that I would never just leave that I would always be here for her.
There have
been several occasions like that. When I had my heart attack last year somebody
told her that she must expect me to die soon because when you have a heart
attack you don’t live very long afterwards. What sort of worry is this to put
into a little girls head? I truly wonder why people do this sort of thing. I am
73 and yes the body
knows it but in my mind I’m still 30, my problem with that is sometimes I do
things as the 30-year-old and then spend two days paying for it with an aching
back to remind me that I’m not a young man anymore. Still as we have taught
Geeta never give in always try no matter how hard it may seem, do your best.
Geeta is
reading every day from the children’s Bible which tells all the Bible stories
in a way that is easier for children to understand this is not only helping
reading and spelling but it is also giving her some understanding of why
Christine and I live by the teachings of Jesus and how that affects our daily
lives.
She asked me
once ‘what is that list on the wall?’ I explained to her that it was a list of
Gods commandments things he said we should and should not do. He gave them to
the world to live by and Christine and I try to live by these commandments and
by the teachings of Jesus. She prays with us on a Sunday and Geeta and I pray
regularly for Christine to be safe and well and to come home soon.
We are not
trying to turn Geeta into a Christian that will be her choice as she gets older
but we are exposing her to Hinduism the country’s main religion which is which
is after all the oldest religion in the world, she attends Hindu temple of
special occasions and we encourage her to understand her countries main faith we
have a friend who is a Muslim she
frequently questions him about his faith we have friends from just about every
religion in India and she questions each and every one of them about what they
believe and why.
She has a
tremendous amount of curiosity which we encourage in all subjects. We never say
things like don’t bother with now ask me later if she has a question we try
very hard to answer it in a way she can understand consequently she has gained
a lot of general knowledge and on some subjects very specific knowledge. One of
her teachers remarked that she was one of the few children at school that you
could have an adult conversation with and she understood the words she was
using and used them in the correct context.
Her biggest
difficulty is writing, she is naturally right-handed and has had to learn to do
everything with her left hand, the problem she has is when she has to write
quickly as spelling goes out of the window. A lot of her test questions she has
given the correct answer but has misspelt a word so gets no mark for it. We
have taught her a propelling pencil (they all have to write with a pencil at
this stage) that has definitely improved her control when she is writing. We
encourage you to read everything she sees he is in English or Hindi she studies
Hindi writing as well as English and speaks three languages Hindi English and
her local tribal language. India is a country of so many many different
languages that you can travel 100 miles and not to be understood by the local
people. This is a fantastic country and I love it very much as does Christine
but there are times it is difficult to comprehend how this society works. We
have tried very hard to be tolerant but to stay firm in our beliefs and our
standards. Geeta has been brought up never to lie or steal. If you have two
coats then give one to somebody who doesn’t have a coat is one of our strongest
principles to help others is to honour God.
She loves
painting and drawing there are dozens of her paintings we never throw them
away. Her schoolwork is improving as she is recovering from being so down I
have to try very hard not to let her see me being depressed.
I admit when
I am here alone the house can seem very empty without Christine here and
emotionally I do find that difficult sometimes. There are times when I have to
force myself to actually do something and not just sit thinking about what was
or what is now. I think I have already mentioned this, I have now moved into
Christine studio which is the downstairs bedroom and put a bed in there. I
still can’t handle sleeping in our bedroom alone. The nights here has become
very cold and are going to get colder and we can’t afford to put radiators on
in the bedrooms so we leave the curtains to the stairs and Geeta’s bedroom door
open and my bedroom door (studio downstairs) open so that some of the heat from
the wood burner which I bless as the best idea we ever had moved in here some
of that he’s gets into the bedrooms. We have also bought two cheap electric
blankets which we turn on about an hour before bedtime and turn off when we get
into bed which by then is lovely and warm and we just snuggle down under the
covers and it doesn’t matter that the bedroom itself is cold….Until you get up
in the morning! Then we both end up standing in front of the fire warming up.
I still find
it difficult to accept that this has happened to us… Why? We did everything we
were supposed to do when we were supposed to do it and yet Christine’s visa was
refused, her appeal was refused because we kept getting told she had
overstayed. How is it possible that she overstayed and I didn’t? It still baffles
me and I have to admit within myself there is resentment and some anger but
I’ve learned to forgive and follow the Lord’s plan whatever that might be.
Keeping my
faith was difficult in the beginning I ranted and shouted at God why why why
have you done this to us? Gradually I came to accept the situation we were in
and I came to accept why ever God did this we may never know where all our
married life together we have followed faithfully the road he laid before us
and still do.
Money has
been one of our greatest worries. When we had to return to the UK three years early we had not saved the
necessary money to renew our visa’s all for air flights as we normally would
have at the end of five years consequently the credit card got hammered in fact
it’s maxed out so we have no financial lifeboat anymore. On top of this we are
now having to pay two rents, two electricity bills, two food bills and only
other incidental costs like clothes for Geeta all on my pension. People look at
foreigners as being wealthy, I can promise you we are certainly not wealthy by
the end of each month we are lucky if we haven’t run out of money to buy even
the most basic essentials. As things stand we have absolutely no chance of
paying off the credit card so every month a chunk of our money gets taken by
the bank as interest and there is nothing we can do about it. It is very
difficult sometimes. At least we have a roof over her heads and food in our
bellies which is more than some others have so far that we are grateful.
Christmas
this year is going to be difficult, Geeta will still get a present as will her
cousins who always visit on Christmas Day. I have explained to her that Santa
is short of cash this year so it will only be a small presents.
Luckily we
have plenty of veg in the freezer and even a turkey!
We have even
made a Christmas cake, traditional English spice cake recipe. I only have one
other promise to fulfil that is we will make a trifle.
We celebrate
Christmas dinner on Boxing Day privately but Christmas Day is open house.
Christine is
struggling just as hard as I am in fact more so she has had to find a small
flat to live in, at least it means she can get away from having to live in what
is laughingly called emergency accommodation, in the UK it’s that or live on
the street.
So much has
changed in the UK over the last 11 or 12 years. Where has my country gone I
don’t recognise it now so much hate so much crime and so much corruption. It’s
a sad comments to have to make but a true one I feel Christine is safer here in
India going about as a mature woman alone than she is in England which is very
sad because I remember when it wasn’t dangerous to walk in the city at night
alone. It’s not everywhere but if you’re unfortunate enough to live in some
other big cities friends have told me you almost live in fear of going out
alone. I don’t understand is how ordinary decent people have allowed this to
happen or for that matter continue to allow it. The UK press doesn’t really
seem to be keen to reproach the level of crime which is ruining peoples lives.
However the international press shows no such restraint when reporting on England
and is becoming known as a dangerous expensive overtaxed and under policed
state. Our pensioners freeze in winter after a lifetime’s work the pension like
as is disgusting and so far below the national average wage it’s a sad joke.
Our service men are struggling just to survive the suicide rates amongst
ex-services is horrendous. Why don’t we seem to care? Free speech no longer
exists as it used to now you can be arrested for having an opinion that doesn’t
agree with the government. You could be arrested for making a political social comment
that may offend some of the individual. It seems it doesn’t pay to rock the
boat in England anymore.
It has taken
me a long time to recover my health, it’s ironic but if I hadn’t had a heart
attack I would never have realised why I was so tired with no stamina. Since
the heart operation and the vitamin C supplement which I now have to take daily
I am definitely getting fitter it’s taking a while but I’m getting there. Sometimes
I still have to admit that different jobs are at the moment beyond my ability
like carrying piles of logs for the fire or something similar where Geeta helps
me but compared to what I was two years ago I am quite literally a different
person. No more wheelchair! As Geeta once said ‘grandpa is back’.
I’m sorry if
this blog has drifted about a little but I’m writing as I think of different
things and not in any particular order. I apologise to readers who like a more
structured account!
I hope this
blog has given a little more insight into how we doing here I will leave it up
to Christine to add her account to this before I publish.
It’s going to be a heck of a
party in about six months time!
May God
bless you all
Chris Hyde
Rajasthan India.
