Hello everyone
Anybody who read my last blog where I had to leave my wife in the UK and return to India alone knows some of the story so far.
First some medical News
Last November as most of you know I had a heart attack results of which was the fitting of a stent. I was told that I would feel a lot better and get my energy and vitality back which had been sadly lacking. Week by week I have been feeling worse. My joints ache I have no energy and all I really want to do is lay down and sleep the day away. Motivation is nil. My legs have got so weak that I'm now using a stick and anything beyond about 25 yards is too much for me. I can't even go shopping so I have bought a wheelchair for those long distance 'walks'. My doctor recommended ankle weights and agrees that the wheelchair will improve my upper body strength and my breathing tremendously. Well that was the situation until about a week ago round brown patches about 1 1/2 cm across started appearing on my arms. My first thought was skin cancer. Some background on that my mother died of cervical cancer my father died of lung cancer my sister had breast cancer and had to have a breast removed so the gene definitely runs in my family. Off I went to the doctor who looked at them and suggested that I immediately and see a dermatologist who could give me a more definite diagnosis. While that didn't give me a great deal of confidence I must admit but I went, she looked at them and sent me off to get blood tests.
I am sleeping better feeling much more like my old self. The
mood swings I was suffering from have gone and in Geeta’s own words ‘grandpa is
back’ and that’s really how I feel about it.\
Update on Christine, she is looking for a house or flat in
the UK and hopefully a job. It’s a long long process but we are both putting
our trust in the Lord.
Here I have to make a confession… Being a single parent is
not bloody easy, to all those people out there, to all those single parents you
have my greatest admiration for you are doing. Before this I had never really
considered just what it must be like to try to bring up a child on your own,
you amaze me. I’ve been doing it for a couple of months now and boy have my
eyes been opened. Money is very tight so we don’t get many treats but when we
do we appreciate them far more than we used to.
Geeta has now become a girl guide, she absolutely loves the
adventure involved and being part of a group with a common goal. Apparently so
she tells me ‘we will be going camping when I am bigger’. The guide leader is
impressed by her attitude never give up, conquer your fears and overcome your
difficulties you will enjoy the challenge you face much more. It is very
similar to some advice I was given as a young man the first time I went rock
climbing, terrifying but immensely satisfying when I achieved some confidence.
Now a bit of bad news. While Geeta and I were away for the
weekend something got into the chicken run (weasel we think) and killed eight
of our 13 chickens. The survivors have moved to my sister Amber for holiday
while the chicken run is reinforced. It came in via a small hole through the
wire where the water pipe enters. That won’t happen again as the area has been
reinforced it is my intention to put a plate around the pipe on the outside as
a belt and braces solution. It was incredibly sad when we got back chicken
feathers everywhere bones and half chickens. Thankfully Amber had cleared 90%
of his away so although she was very sad Geeta didn’t get to see the carnage
that had been caused. When the run is finished I will bring our five chickens
back from their holiday!
Well it is now the middle of October and thank God Christine now has somewhere to live there is also a strong possibility that she may have found a job as well which will help immensely. I can’t thank my daughter Frances or her husband enough for looking after Christine all this time. It has been a great strain for all of them living in a one bedroom flat. Christine had the bed (they wouldn’t consider any other way) and they slept in the sitting room. The availability of rented accommodation in the UK is horrendous. Every hotel every and spare flat seems to be occupied by illegal immigrants. I’m not prejudiced and I have no problem with immigration as long as it’s legal. I am an immigrate to India, so is Kris, Legal!
Arriving on a boat across the channel being put in a hotel given cash and food
when people like Christine are so desperate not to end up living on the street
disgusts me. What has happened to the UK? It is so very different to the UK I
left 10 years ago. As an active Christian I really struggle with my feelings
about this.
Geeta loves helping me in the garden, we are trying very hard to keep on top of it and it does give both of us a break from being indoors. I have no viable transport and walking is still difficult for me but I’m improving daily.
Our 13th year of marriage has been so far a rough one!
Geeta is suffering now, she lost both her to pet dogs, then she lost Christine. I try very hard to help her to understand and perhaps except that Christine will be back but I suspect there is some doubt her mind about that.
This little girl has gone through so much it seems so unfair that she has to go
through this as well. Her grades at school have fallen sharply it is as though
she can’t be bothered anymore. I’m meeting with somebody from the school this
weekend to discuss this. There are times when I feel totally inadequate, being
a single parent was never part of my life plan and it is incredibly difficult.
Being positive about our situation to Geeta sometimes only lasts until she has gone
to school. On my own alone here sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it, Christine
and I were never meant to be apart in all the years we have been married the longest
we have ever been separated has been when one of us has been in hospital. I
know every day that passes is it a closer to us being reunited but emotionally
and psychologically it is sometimes very difficult not to think about the
number of days still ahead of us separated as we are.
Well that brings you more or less up-to-date with us and our situation.
Please pray that we get through this together and can be reunited next year as
a family.
May God bless you all
Chris Udaipur India
UPDATE Kris sent this to add to the blog.
Comments from Kris
Thought it was time I gave an update on my situation here in the UK.
Well as you all know my visa was refused for overstaying even though I was to ill to travel back to the UK and I had medical certificate and support to support it. So now I have to wait till the end of May next year to reapply. Its been very difficult for us all being separated but at least we can keep in touch via email and whats app video calls so that is something to be thankful for.
Chris is doing a fantastic job with Geeta and keeping things going in India despite his health issues. He has had chest pain due to stress but is learning to deal with it.
Chris’s daughter Fran and her husband Shaun have been fantastic putting me up for so long but there is only so long we could carry that on being together in a small one bed roomed flat.
I have now moved into emergency accommodation in a guest house in Stafford, its very nice I have my own double room with a small dressing room and shower and toilet. There's a dining room with microwave and airfryer so I can make meals and its very close to my ground floor room.The owner is nice and shes a Christian I don’t see her a lot but she is there if I need her. I still have my name down for a flat or bungalow but nothing yet and its been months. I thought I had a couple of private lets but they fell through.
My room is cosy and warm, sometimes too warm as it is now I'm sitting on the bed writing this in my t shirt as I’m hot.
I have applied and accepted a part time job caring for vulnerable adults as an intensive support worker but its taking ages for the dbs checks as they have to contact India to make sure I have no criminal activity. To be honest I wish it was all sorted to give me some focus and money to get by,
Never thought I would need to but I now get food bank parcels each week so at least I can eat.
I was beginning to lose weight intentionally but had to go back on steroids for severe chest infection so that has affected that for now. Had to have second course of antibiotics as infection reoccurred a few days after finishing the first lot of medications, still on them but it is improving.
I’d like to thank our home church for their support for Chris and I at this difficult time and over the last twelve years we have been in India. Without their support we could not have achieved as much as we have been able to. We truly are very humbled by their support.
I would like to visit them and Durham but at the moment I can’t afford the rail fare or accommodation so maybe when I get wages I could pop up for a weekend and visit Emmanuel Church (our home church).
I don’t know why this has happened to us but I am trying to remain strong and my trust in the Lord is still holding us together we are one......."Chris and Kris" nothing on this earth will change that. Our love and our faith is stronger than anything that can be thrown at us.
I bought a few art materials so I can do some painting just need to figure out
the logistics whilst I am in emergency accommodation.
As Chris and I have discussed this is our thirteenth year of marriage and it has certainly been a difficult one and not one we will forget easily.
Counting down the days to our being reunited and Chris has made a calender for Geeta that she tears off each month knowing its bringing us closer together.
Geeta has struggled with our separation her schoolwork has suffered and she not only has suffered my loss but the death of two of our dogs which she has found very hard, her best friend has also moved away. Shes trying to improve her spelling which is a major problem by reading and learning new words, She chose the children's bible to read which is nice because these are new stories for her and will help her to understand our faith and beliefs. I thought she would have chosen the tales of Narnia or one of her other books of which she has many but no she chose the children's bible which also contains great illustrations. She and Chris read from it every evening.
I am so proud of her for helping out at home and trying to stay strong. I don’t think Chris would have coped so well without her in our life and it keeps me strong knowing they're there for each other until I return. Unfortunately there are those who tell her I am not returning which I think is very cruel and unhelpful. She remains the lovely caring and thoughtful little girl who has brought so much joy to our lives.
We have certainly found out who our true friends are in India during this stressful time, one of which I won’t name but interfered in our family even whilst we were here together in the UK, then never contacted Chris at all since he returned.This "friend" even had the cheek recently to interfere again when I had told her not to interfere in our private lives, advising Geeta’s mother to take Geeta’s phone to the village as her mams phone wasn’t working well. I’m pleased to say her mother said No. Geeta’s mam knows we got her the phone for her security and to contact her parents anytime she wanted and now to be able to contact me. To say I was appalled that this person would do that it just proved what kind of character they are especially as they previously said Geeta was their friend but has ignored her almost completely since Chris returned to India. But on a positive note a couple of other friends have been there for Chris and Geeta. Thank you guys you know who you are.
Whilst in Stafford I am attending Rising Brook Baptist church and Chris and Geeta join in on line during the live service so we feel a connection and I give an occasional wave to the camera,
Well I think I have just about covered everything so hope you are all well please keep praying for us.
God Bless you all
Kris
in Stafford England
